One, two, three, four
Tell me that you love me more
Sleepless long nights
That is what my youth was for
Old teenage hopes are alive at your door
Left you with nothing but they want some more
Oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, You know who you are
Luckily I arrived in the parking garage at work earlier than anticipated. I hustle over to the elevator and press the button up to the 32nd floor.
In my office I gather my presentation material, which thankfully I already had prepared before I left last night. I get to the boardroom ahead on everyone else so at least I have some time to prepare. This meeting will be broadcast to our selected affiliates worldwide so the heat is on to everything ready in time. I’d better not screw this up.
I set up the computer, T.V’s and telephones, I do a test run and we’re good to go. I welcome people as they arrive, at 9am on the dot we’re live, thankfully without any problems. The meeting is dreadfully long and drawn out, not as in the material, that, if I do say so myself was stellar; well organized and through, just the way I like it. But I’m so sleep deprived and the three hours worth of discussion that followed, now that was what went horribly. It was just too long and too much effort required on a day like today, and I was dying of hunger by the time it was over.
It was agreed before we left the boardroom that we we’re going to head out to lunch as a group. I could handle that. It was a welcome change to be around my colleagues, they were a lively bunch to say the least and always reliable for a good laugh. We decided to go to a Sassfraz, a great restaurant in Yorkville. Once there, we ordered our drinks and meals. I was in the mood for some comfort food so I ordered the mushroom and truffle ravioli in a light herb cream sauce with scallions, pasta is my go to, always good to warm the body and ease the mind.
“You seem a little of today” Tracey, my boss says to me shortly after our food arrives.
“What do you mean?” I play aloof, looking at her with a surprised look on my face.
“I don’t know, you’re very quiet today. Plus you look like shit.” She states. This makes me choke. I shouldn’t be surprised, she’s a pistol like that, but I’m really not on the ball today.
”Thanks” I shoot back at her. “Not as in shit like noticeable to anyone else, but I know you and you look tired. Are you feeling okay? Maybe it’s the Flu!” she exclaims wildly.
Like I’m going to tell her that every muscle in my body is sore. And that it's directly due to the fact that I had one of the best nights of my life last night, having sex with one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever laid my eyes on.
“Maybe it is the flu, but I don’t think so, I had a tough time falling a sleeping last night. I think I just need to go home, have a hot bath and a good night’s sleep. I’ll be fine by tomorrow, I promise”
She seems satisfied with that and I turn my attention to the ongoing ‘Where are you going for your summer vacation?’ conversation. Everyone here is married with children and have all these great plans of where they’ll go and what they’ll do this year.
When my turn comes around I simply say “I think I’m going on a 4 day trip to Montreal with my roommate, and out west to visit some friends in Alberta, maybe a trip down south, that will be at the end of the year, but other than that nothing big” That changes the topic to how great it must be to be single and able to fly by the seat of my pants. I just smile and nod, then motion to our server that we're ready for the bill.
Shortly after we pay our respective tabs, we hop on the TTC heading south bound toward our office on Bay Street, it’s the Canadian equivalent to Wall Street.
I hop in my car and as soon as I pull out of the garage I crank my tunes. I love driving; it beats the hell out of public transit any day, for comfort and convenience. Plus, I love how the city looks at night. The Toronto skyline is one of the prettiest I’ve seen. The drive home is smooth sailing; only 15mins….that’s unheard of in this city. I’m feeling better than I have all day, which is a welcome change.
I arrive home shortly after 7, only to find the place empty but a note on the table.
‘Got called into work! I’ll have to rain check for another night. Don’t wait up! Luv, Jenn XOXO.’
In a way I’m relieved. I just want to relax and get some rest, not relive last night vocally, it’s bad enough that I’ve caught myself day dreaming about it frequently throughout the day.
I change out of my suit into just an over sized T-shirt and pull my hair into a high messy bun on the top of my head. I‘m not really hungry so I just warm up some left over’s and hit the couch. There is nothing on T.V on Wednesday night, except hockey and for once I’m not in the mood to watch, I don’t need any more distractions. Anymore reasons to think of him.
It’s not like the Leafs are even playing tonight, but that doesn’t stop the constant mention of them. It’s bad enough that at work I had to hear the play by play of the Leafs win last night and chide remarks that he did nothing that game. I was kinda offended. I guess I couldn’t help it, I’m kinda fond of him and I was attached to him like 8 hours prior.
In Toronto, everyone’s a commentator here, everyone watches and everyone has an opinion including myself. I can’t help it, I’m not a big Leafs fan, but deep down I really want them to win. They’re my home town team after all.Who doesn't want to see their home team win the cup?
So after about an hour of channel surfing I decide to run my bath. I need to listen to some music to help me wind down and choose my ‘Lite’ playlist, and the soft sounds of Feist fill the air. I hum to myself as I head into the bath room and clean out the tub before adding lots of hot water, some lavender sea salts and a cap full of unscented bubble bath. I turn on the jets and watch the water foam. I love that we have a Jacuzzi tub and whip off my T-shirt in anticipation, moments later I’m submerged in the warmth and comfort of the water.
I’ve always found water very soothing, whether I’m in it or around it, it calms me. The forceful stream of water from the jets push at my muscles and it feels so good. My neck and thighs were so sore but I feel the tension slowly draining from them. I could stay here all night. I close my eyes focus on my breathing and relax. What seems like minutes later, my playlist ends signaling I’ve been laying here for nearly an hour already, I grab a towel and dry off quickly and wrap myself up in my warm snuggly robe.
I put on my nightie and hop into bed with my lap top. I check my emails, and read some blogs I religiously follow. It’s nearly 12 am when I'm finished reading and I decide it’s time to hit the hay. I wrap the duvet around me and reach over to turn off the light, my phone is blinking and its lighting up my room like a strobe light. I grab my cell, flick my screen on and that’s when I notice 1 new text. I open it.
From: Unknown name, Unknown number.
‘Good night, Beautiful. From freezing Montreal!’
I smile to myself and bite my lip, then snuggle deeper into the sheets. I don’t think I’d ever hear from him again…….. It’s going to be a good night’s sleep after all!
I slept soundly through the night, my mind filled with dreams of his touch, his kiss and his eyes. It’s unlike me to get all bent out of shape over a guy, especially one I just met and quite frankly didn’t know a thing about. I’ve been single for a while now….6 months to be specific, but it ended long before that, but as we all know nothing takes longer to heal then a broken heart.
I had been with Dave for nearly seven years when I found out that he cheated on me “Only one time, it only happened once, Babe. It didn’t mean anything” well maybe not to him, but it meant everything to me. I tried to look past it and forgive his indiscretion but it haunted me. For those last 5 months it was all I could think about, and picturing him in bed touching her, the faceless woman who ruined my life, I couldn’t handle it.
I couldn’t even bring myself to have sex with him, the thought just made me sick. I didn’t want his hands on me, they were dirty now. He tried so hard to get back in, dinners at fancy restaurants, flowers even jewelry, I knew he was just trying to but my affections, but I wasn’t having any of it. My love can’t be bought. It may have happened only once, but that was one time too many.
So, last year mid-September, I had a box of his things ready and waiting for him when he came over to visit one night. I took back my key and told him I never wanted to see him again. He was shocked but didn’t put up much of a fight. He called me a bitch and a whore, and said that "I’ll never find anyone to love me like he loves me" You know, all the wildly imaginative things guys’ think to say when they get hurt. But he left immediately after his little boy rant.
The next day I decided I needed to change my life, I’m not a kid anymore, I’m 28 years old, time to grow up already and I really felt like he was really holding me back. So I went full speed ahead. I quit my job, which I hated and enrolled in night school to get my broker license.
I also decided that it was time to liven up my home as well. So I picked out new paint colours, nothing crazy I like to keep it mellow and calming. My bedroom was the first upheaval; it was gray and dull, so I changed it to a light violet with bright white trim, with white curtains. The rest of the house got a pale shade of yellow to really brighten it up and I loved the trim from the bedroom so much that I carried it throughout the entire place. Lastly, I had painted one large accent wall a medium brown; let’s call it coffee, one cream. I kept all my furniture. I shampooed, then recovered the couch, love seat and chair, then accented them with throw pillows. I also finally bought the 6 foot tall picture/painting of the Effiel Tower I’ve been eyeballing for a while.
If you couldn’t guess, I love to decorate. I just never did it with Dave, he hated change but I love it, in my home anyways. I think you should change things up every year or two just to keep it fresh. This whole transformation took about 2 weeks since I was going to school and studying like mad. I don’t care what anyone says it’s hard to go back to school as an adult especially when you jump into something that’s completely new to you.
I decided that I deserved a treat for all my hard work so I headed over to The Brick to buy myself a King size bed. I’ve wanted to upgrade for quite some time but Dave didn’t think it was a good idea.
The alarm on my phone went off at 6:15AM. I grabbed my phone to dismiss the alarm when I notice another new text.From: Unknown name, Unknown number.
‘Good morning beautiful! Watch my game tonight? We’re playing Montreal, it’s always an exciting game.’
What time does this guy wake up???
A huge smile spills across my face and I can’t contain the giddy feeling I have. I can’t remember the last time I felt like this. At least I’ll get to see him tonight, even if it's only on T.V.